To Talk Or Not To Talk?

There is no doubt about it, the last 12 months have revolutionized our ways of managing emotions, reconfiguring priorities, and structuring routines. At times, it can feel difficult to look at tomorrow with wonder and awe, not really knowing what will be thrown our way next, because inevitably something unexpected will occur that throws us off. The unknown of what tomorrow will bring leaves us with a sense of helplessness, which can make it feel like an increasingly uphill battle to gain a sense of security and stability with everyday life. It can be a struggle to find peace when the world we live in is filled with recurring violence, negativity, heartache, and hardship.

We may feel stuck under an umbrella of negativity, and it feels difficult to even get out of bed in the morning and/or we struggle to fall asleep at night. Talk-therapy is a simple, accessible, and effective way of bringing light, hope, and transformation into our lives. Let’s not confuse talk-therapy with the therapeutic feeling released while talking about life over a pint with a close friend, or a call home to a parent or loved one (although we don’t discourage staying in regular communication with friends and loved ones!). I’ve noticed in conversations with my own friends and family, that I’ll sometimes begin the conversation with “I need to vent” or “I just need to talk this through and get the words out until it makes sense to me.” In these instances, I’m just looking for someone to listen to me, to agree with me, or I’ll be soliciting advice depending on the subject matter. When it comes to my therapy sessions, though, it is not my therapist’s job to agree with me. I am talking, theorizing, and sometimes rambling (also referred to as word vomit) just to release my anxious thoughts, because saying the thoughts aloud helps my therapist and me to determine if, and when, my thoughts are irrational and emotion-based versus if there is evidence to support them.

To distinguish talk-therapy from our conversations with friends and family, we want to emphasize that the relationship built between a therapist and patient (or client) is that the therapist, counselor, or social worker is a trained and licensed professional who has studied patterns of behavior and dialogue. They are experts in helping you to recognize recurring thought patterns and behaviors to help you become more aware of underlying issues that you can now work through. Awareness of the underlying issue(s) is a key step in understanding how to overcome day-to-day challenges, achieve long-term goals, and maintain the progress that has been made. Speaking with a licensed professional is incredibly beneficial because they provide an unbiased and clinical perspective about what brought you to counseling. Although they want what is best for you, sometimes that means holding you accountable by bringing to light any unhealthy thoughts and behavioral patterns.

Talk therapy can help you overcome fears and insecurities, cope with stressful situations, understand what bothers you while helping to identify any triggers that make the symptoms worse, improve your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues, and most importantly it can help with processing traumatic experiences. It is important to understand that one or two appointments is likely not enough, and consistent recurring appointments (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc.) is an essential time-investment in yourself for overall mental health and wellbeing. It’s safe to say that there won’t be any life-changing revelations in the first session. The biggest takeaway after the first session may simply be, “I’m proud of myself for setting this appointment, for showing up, and being there for myself in a time of struggle when I need me most.”

At Cornerstone, it’s our job to help bridge the gap between the desire to talk to a professional and the moment you sit down to meet with your counselor. The counselors are licensed professionals that want to be available to you as a resource, without the worries of financial constraint or lack of transportation. They are more than willing to meet you where you are most comfortable such as within your own home or on your front porch. If in-home therapy is not preferred, rest assured that the counselors are happy to meet you in a public place such as a nearby park or recreational facility.

If you are ready to begin the journey to healing and feeling like you again, we are a phone call or text away for help getting connected.

This post was written by A. McIlroy.